As parents we want our kids to be positive, confident individuals who are ready to face any challenge. But, did you know we have a huge role to play in laying the groundwork? In giving the bud of confidence which is present in every child, the nutrients to bloom?
As individuals, we have and will continue to experience instances where we question our skill, our beliefs and go into this rabbit hole of self-doubt. It is a common thing we all experience only to say, it is very natural. But, how we come out of this downward spiral with a new bout of confidence is where one can trace back roots of attachment.
The kind of attachment we hold to our caregivers, parents and those who played a big role in shaping us is the genesis of our confidence DNA. If our attachment was a secure, solid one, we will move on to be strong individuals who will shine our light of positivity onto others, more importantly, our children.
Life is a full circle, isn’t it? What you get is what you give and when you have happiness and positivity to give to your little ones, they feed it back to their families and the world when they blossom into the amazing individuals that they are meant to be.
If you are a parent and if you want to learn more about how you can contribute to helping your child become happy, confident, and healthy, this post which talks about the ‘secure’ attachment style will be the perfect 5-minute read for you.
The founder of attachment theory, John Bowlby brought to life some interesting findings of how children relate to their parents/caregivers through an attachment style. While this is a lifetime worth of study, in this article we will learn about the ‘secure’ attachment style and how this helps a child develop confidence and self-worth early on.
Also known as organised attachment style, it outlines all the scenarios where the child feels protected by their parent/caregiver. The child feels secure and at peace knowing that his/her needs will be met. This lays the foundation for a confident, happy, mentally stable child who is not afraid to explore their surroundings because in their heart they know, if they ever need their parent/caregiver, they will be there to protect and help them.
As you can imagine, such children go on to live their life with a sense of confidence and self-worth which will help them flourish in life.
So, what does it mean to create this attachment style?
Again, this is a topic that cannot be contained in an article, but to underline the essence,
what I can suggest to you is to be more present for your children.

This means:

⦁ You listen more

⦁ Judge less

⦁ Encourage them to speak their mind and be themselves no matter what

⦁ Do not project your expectations or beliefs onto the child

⦁ Help them discover their strengths and teach them how to navigate challenges

Sometimes, children are not as open to sharing experiences that involve their emotions and in such cases, you can gently reassure them that you are there for them and that they can turn to you whenever they want just like how a friend would.
Parents, it takes work but, remember, intentions count too. If you set your foot forward with the intent to create a healthy environment for your child where you do your best to be there, you will see your efforts taking life. So, give yourself some grace and practice the above. You will soon find, you are a natural! Of course, I am always here to help. You can write to me (email id) with your specific queries for a one on one consultation.