Don't make the mistake of acting angry or showing him that you are hurt. This is something we all have to go through at some point or another! But it could also be a message on a dating website, or asking for a phone number after you are introduced by friends. And although a lot of guys look at me, few actually takes the initiative in daily life (in class). sereusly if you're a woman don't take dating advice from a woman Well, very confusing. After all, we arent mindless women following dogma about what it means to be feminine without ever questioning anything. And that is like you, because he does come to you. enough?" That being said, you can invite his approach by giving him eye contact (first) and then putting yourself nearer to him (second), by sitting closer to him or walking out of the room at the same time, etc. He's in the habit of texting you in the early hours, such as before bedtime or when he's partying with his friends. It would frustrate me that I was doing all the workuntil I realized if I was doing all the work he probably didn't like me. So, I leave it up to hear to continue the conversation. ".I want to ask, is it always the high value women whom are approached the most? After all - he did get a reply. "I must have totally hurt her" "Before I go crazy making assumptions, I am going to text her first" "Was I happier then or now?" "Never mind, I will find another one." "Maybe she doesn't like/love me anymore." But I also seem to get more approaches from guys outside of school, whether it'd be a dinner party or whatever. Thats where all of your answers lie. If he really makes zero effort to reach out to you, then maybe you can do yourself a favor and just stop texting him. CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now. But if you think he might be having a hard time, talk to him about it. Living in a metropolitan area means that I'm running at least weekly into girls who I find attractive and pleasant enough to consider as a romantic prospect. Does a girl's reply pattern affect your initiatives?I sometimes takes some time to reply a text. I have a guy friend who gives me mixed signals. I have seen guys work like the CIA to get in touch with a girl they like. Just the info I needed.Just thought I would comment and say cool theme, did you create it for yourself? This is why its important to not just never initiate in dating and just lean back, its important to be a woman of value who has the confidence to engage in the mating dance with a man. I mean I suppose most girls get more attention on nights out since those are the venues you go to actively meet people. If he wants to take it anywhere, he will find you. If he cancels or lets you down two more times CUT HIM OFF, end of story. The biggest difference would be that you wouldn't have wasted your time or become unnecessarily emotionally attached to a guy that was obviously going to leave (to whatever small degree you did get attached, I mean).You don't "not initiate" to make him like you more - because it won't - you don't initiate to save yourself going through the whole dating process only to get dumped. But hes still not opened up as much as he should. If a man is in touch, but doesn't initiate meeting up, should I just reply and play along and wait?He wanted my number, texts me often (long texts), but he hasn't written anything about meeting up again. Is it okay (now that's already asked you out once) to invite him on a casual date? Yet the majority will be not for me (too old, drunk, or uninteresting - and I go to quite upscale places). He's made updates on fb through his phone. He might have some unresolved issues from the past, and hes afraid of getting hurt again, so hes trying to avoid commitment altogether. Calling and texting just to have a chat is appropriate after you've gotten to the point in a relationship where you know it is appreciated by the man. ), it can make him simply stop initiating contact and see where things go (aka if you will take the lead). Is it serious reason to worry?It is a complete mystery to me. Having men coming up and talking to women is a test for men. They think they have to make a man chase her. Show her you're interested and call her every now and then. So justwait? If he reciprocates, great. Although I had just had a blow-dry first time he looked at me and my hair was looking great, so perhaps I'll repeat that). The key I think is to make it sound very casual and friendly. Or does it not matter, as long as he does?I never initiate btw. With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation. What kinds of people need or respond to advice that is basically asking them to be passive? Yet being passive isnt the answer either. Anyway, I really don't want to go through all the stress and frustration in trying to figure him out anymore when he most likely doesn't even think about it at all! Eventually, we started talking more and more at church, then we became facebook "friends" (I looked him up and requested, but didn't think of it as "initiating" anything) and we'd chat there every once in a while. Stop being always available The number one thing that you can do to turn the tables around and get him to chase you is to stop being available whenever he reaches out. Cheers.There is little free thinking at all.No BS and Millionaire Circle written well, thanks for the info When I click on your RS feed it puts up a whole lot of unformulated HTML, is the problem on my end.Thank you so much, great post! He also said I have your number. Should I be initiating interest going forward? It's really confusing 'cause there are times I don't answer but usually I do (not right away but I do).. Then HE doesn't answer for a long time and I get frustrated so I re-initiate contactWhat do I do: Not answering ever again? If you are not online dating but want to send subtle signals, see my examples above. I have spotted a cute guy at school (I'm in uni), we have a couple of classes together, he sits with his friends on the opposite side of the room, I've never spoken to him. This is why it is so important for a woman to allow a man to initiate contact after an initial meeting, and even well into the relationship. Did you like our article? I know he already thinks of me as a bit oversensitive. Sure, all men are into casual sex, but unless the men have insecurity issues, commitment issues, they also want a relationship and stability too.There is nothing fulfilling about one-night stands and casual sex in the LONG RUN. People simply don't talk to each other if alcool is not involved, maybe that's why Stockholm is the city with most singles in the world. Learn to be more approachable and guys will come to you. Sometimes guys who are really into us will start to act shyer around us when they realize they have been acting too cool with us. I would appreciate it if you would stop calling/texting me, but if you do, I won't be answering any more. I've gone out with guys who are less attractive than me physically (guys/girls will tell me I'm a 8.5-9, and friends have told me they saw the guy I was seeing as a 4 to them), but there are other things to them which makes them more attractive. (Keep in mind we didn't just have a couple of dates, I thought he was crazy about me until now!). But if youre not sure about this at all and you think he might be too insecure to make a move dont push it. If you were completely passive, even in the beginning, a high value man would never dance with you. However, the chase is NEVER on until there's an indication of interest from her part. The only guys that approach girls are players a lot of the time, there are so many insure guys, who are nice, rich and interesting. Some of them in most girls' view, I think. It took a couple of weeks for us to actually set a time/day to go out together. njoyable and relarding towards the game lover; because a straightforward game isn't really everything that fun. The value is in the emotional connection. If he acts normal when he DOES get back to me, what do you suggest my response should be?A lot of these things are 'smaller issues' in a guy's mind and if you react to them, you become a naggy girl. That's his preference. Andrew, can you please write a post on women initiating interest on an online dating/matrimonial site? It requires coordination, trust, and communication. The only thing different among friends is proximity, which doesn't affect the principle; it just increases the opportunities the guy has to initiate.I am going to write a separate post about dealing with shy guys, because I acknowledge that this post overlooks them somewhat. Putting hurdles in front of men to prove their interest sounds like something every self respecting, quality Woman should do to make sure she is attracting quality men! This is usually the woman, but if it is the man, then he needs to follow the same rules I've prescribed here. Do that, rather than trying to use superficial methods to try to avoid being vulnerable to your own emotions. - attitude), and clearly he saw my facebook-messaging him as a sign of HUGE interest, even though the message was quite neutral and not really flirty. If I was unavailable when he DID contact me, as I sometimes was, I feel like it comes off as uninterested?I'm not dating this guy anymore, so it's more for future reference. If the guy is constantly making the effort wouldn't he eventually get the impression that the girl isn't that interested anyway? Later that day I thanked him for a great time and he did the same. In fact, if you find yourself always imitating contact and he really never reciprocates, that's one of the signs that he doesn't want a relationship with you. At this point their first meeting was around the corner, and I thought it would be too selfish of me to come up with something to cancel it (especially since it had been two months in the making by now) so I just played down my emotions as a silly little crush, especially since I was gonna be leaving the city in four months whereas they actually lived there and could make it work. I know he's away, but I think I should have had a response. My motto is.."If I want something and am willing to accept the consequences of not getting it, then hey, at least I tried". Read these posts and hear all of the trickery and dishonesty.Really! I know, it sounds kind of like a lame excuse, but it is a reason why he might be acting like this! Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. It relives so much stress. I find him good-looking, he is no Brad Pitt, but I'm sure other girls could be into him. and I said yes. Are you assuming that those initial contacts are random, chance events? IMO, it is not a matter of quantity of approaches - you want to get attention, but if there is a selection of the men that hit on you, that is a good thing, I think. Thanks for the heads up. Especially in connecting with the high value men (who always get snapped up super fast)? And when I did hit him up that one time, I didn't have any intentions of setting up this date with him, but more just to see if he was available to hang out while I killed some time (He just happened to be one of the few people I texted that time). He wanted my number and has been texting me a lot. Just because a man starts a conversation with a women, even a women he considers attractive, doesn't mean he's starting the conversation out of interest in sex or a relationship. The hurdles that a man puts in front of a woman are much, much different than the female hurdles that women use to filter male pretenders from the real deal! He behaved very gentlemanly and didn't even make a proper move.Which makes me confused. I was drawn to himWe get out and both are following me to the club, we start talking and eventually all three on and 'C' just took my hand and we sat down outside. They tilt their head to one side. I never initiate contact, and even when we'd been going out and seeing each other every day for a couple of months, I never called or texted first. But could maybe use more advice on being fun and approachable! I messaged him that I really like you, you are a good man and attractive, but what is going on with us? I am still going strong with my best friend who ive known since kindergarden and have been super close with for almost 9 years but still everyone says it cant work and blah blah blah. But there are some things that have remained quite consistent. If he is sporadic/flakey, it means you are simply a side dish or he has other priorities going on. Most girls I know will wait for a guy to initiate on the first 3 dates or so, but text him first after that, if they've had a lot of phone/text conversations.Personally I follow the advice (I never text or call), even though most people in my social circle don't prescribe to these rules. This seems to reiterate the old saying that if you have to ask if he likes you, he doesn'tit has definitely been true in all of my experience with boys/men. Perfect gentlemen. If a guy is texting every day for two weeks, is it appropriate for me to send a text saying 'how are you?'. Should I just forget it and leave it there? Some say that a guy initiating contact may still mean he only wants sex. I didn't text him after the date to say thank you and I wasn't planning to (even though I did have a good time, I didn't want to initate contact) he texted me and thanked me for letting him take out and saying he had a great time. The reason for this is simple: sometimes we can get so caught up in the moment that we forget what we actually want and how far we may want things to go with certain people. "Andrew, what are your thought on a woman initiating interest on an online matrimonial site, where everyone's intentions are to find a partner to get married to? How do you suggest a girl should reply? I am all new to the dating game. )Sorry for so many questions. I have dated a couple girls that I had to follow my own advice with. I moved on. Dont worry though if a guy is really into you and wants to get to know you better, then he will make the first step. When I see him in person initiate contact by talking to him, but I am refusing to text or email him first and I love it! I told him I miss him and want to see him, but it may seem like I didn't make time for him. Even if you have insecure attachment and are an anxious or anxious avoidant type, the only way to begin changing it is to do the very thing you fear you cant truly do. Though now that you have opened the doo by sueggesting that you hang out sooner, he has to walk through it. WHO: ALL women writers! --I hear it all the time. Simple as that. I know, this one sounds kind of obvious, but still, I want to point out that this guy might be a little insecure about himself. 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