How about narcs vs. normals? Or if he apologizes he expects everything to immediately go back to normal. You mentioned that you believe he has blocked you, but if I were in your shoes, I would make sure that I had blocked him from all forms of communication. Ran into him and his dog and he said Hi Becky, stopped and looked pensive as too who was on the beach. Anyway family day he came by to see kids, once they went to bed he sits down and my three yr old is sitting there and he says do you know why I came? If some of my friends and colleagues were in the mental health profession, then why was my disorder not detected? Funny, sexy, passionate to the point where I believed shed taught me what sex was. Instead, you should be grateful that someone accepts you as you are, and how dare you even think you can find someone better. There are many people who understand you and you can get support from many people. My narcissist didnt everhoover. The judge granted the RO because I psyclogically abused her after I found out about the affair. Everyone experiences jealousy because its a natural emotion. He does have borderline traits as well. HUGS!!! Start standing up for your personal space and comfort. in regards to this empty soul. The peak end rule. There are things in you that have become a part of me in some way things that fill a void that had been around for a while regardless of who I was or wasnt dating, things that make me incredibly happy and incredibly confused, things that make me alive. But probably not, maybe he can't get over you.We were together for a year and a half. They can pretend to be for short periods of time, but theres always a devastating reason behind it. Our family had never fallen out until Dad died. Not an emotional goodbye. And do not take that as oh great thanks, he will eventually contact me (in 7, 8, 9, 10 years). Just a note to say, hi, and pray you are doing okYou have been on my heart over the past couple of weeks, so I felt like I needed to reach out, now that some time has passed since we last spoke. I would have worked with her on that. it had become so defining, or at least had become a thing that I was constantly engaged with even though my interactions were full of stress depression anger when I went NC I found the emptiness hard to cope with, looking then at my newly ostracized place outside of the community I had up till then freely enjoyed I was now even bereft of the abuser and in a way I was so lonely that I missed even that utterly perverse I know, Now having had this denouement where his approach and my acceptance of it has kind of taken the substance out of my circumstances the definition was clear and easy before I had just felt too that I had come to terms with everything and was getting on getting on. Not that they care. Take care" Then I blocked her number . Some of the stories she told people about me, made me seem, cheap, needy, aggressive, highly emotional or flat out crazy. and they just couldnt care less, they couldnt even care less what its doing to you the one they say they Love. Also, if you had ever mentioned to him that you thought he was too materialistic or too sexual then the first thing he wants to do is rub it in your face how he has changed for the new supply. It can only be described as a LIVING NIGHTMARE. I have spent my whole life with narcissistic men beginning with my father. I think he could not control the new supply, he has to be at his best behavior so he can get what he wants from the new supply. She sounds like she has an addiction either chemical or narcissitic. Its very weird. Eden I would do total no contact in your case as well. Best thing to do is get away from the drama and live a peaceful life. I have no doubt you will one day hear a similar story with this BPD girl and the new supply. Is it even okay if I say that? Im afraid of being utterly disappointed and having to start back from square one, so I do nothing. He sounded like he is talking to me.. My daughter said the same thing.. she felt that he was talking to me. I got extremely frustrated with his ambiguous, incoherent behavior, his cavalier attitude and thought he was acting in a cowardly manner and told him so. I seem to remember saying to you a few weeks before we left school that I needed to be away from and also take a step back and really look at how I felt about you and our relationship. over and over. If he made these threatening statements, you never know if he will make good on them. 2) accept it it kind of placed me in a situation where their support was conditional on my taking this risk.. I blocked him from my social media profiles about 2 months ago. Thank you also for your follow. He is trying to invade your space physically and mentally, even though he has already moved on. Think about that for a moment. I tried and tried and she blocked me out! I think in some weird way I keep contact to somehow get to the bottom of it. The list goes on. If this ex returns, it will NOT be good for you, no matter wha. She still denied being with him on the weekends she disappeared but I couldnt take anymore and ended it. Its lifting me up. He needs to be seen as perfect a all times. I dont know much about borderlines but I do know my ex fits most of narcissist diagnosis without the nastiness. They contact you . She wants to be my friend because of how she thinks my presence serves as one of her ideal actors in the movie that is her life. I did, and that was when she came after me with reckless abandon. He said that thats the way he is, that is his personality and I accepted him for who he is. Affected all aspects of my life. He was verbally abusive during big fights, which happened rarely, and increased towards the end. We cannot rely on them to make that decision. Whether its good or bad its still with you, and that makes it worth it. The first is if the other person left. When he dated her, he attended her annual family outings. Try to get that support reduced and try to ruin you. If the other parent is a demon then we have a moral obligation to let our kids know the truth. I wish you strenght and all the best for you and your son. If Im not sure about something, its okay if it doesnt quite work but when I know that I want something I dont want anything to get in the way. You should read Upturned Souls blog. I say this because my ex was an undiagnosed BPD. CAN A SADIST NOT TO KNOW, THAT THEY ARE TAKING PLEASURE, FROM CAUSING THE PAIN (definition for sadism)!! So i tekst hey everything ok? I decided to allow him to see our son yesterday because it was his bday. Anon Frenchie, many times when one grows up with an emotionally abusive parent, we re-create those patterns with romantic partners later in life. Keep reading if you want to find out how narcissists treat their exes. 1. He knows i should drifting on pink clouds when he contacts me. Six months after that I catch him snooping on my LinkedIn profile. (Yeah, thats truesick f*ck that he is.) They become overly critical of you. I am in the middle of my Ph. I learned my lessons over and over again until i was conditioned to not be my outgoing, confident self and be subservient to her will and desires. Its only temporary.. Just when i get better as time went on. I told him he had to go. Well, I mulled over giving it to her because I made the mistake of picking up the phone and he tried to brow beat me into it but later, I thought it out.he bought it to replace my freezer which makes it a gift, so no, as much as I love his mother, in fact, it saddens me that she wont end up being my mother in law, I only told her about the freezer when I was unloading my plans to leave, which was a mistake. I also asked him to take my photos down of me on his facebook page and he said NO, why feel the need to keep them up?? There were many red flags in the beginning which of course I ignored because it made me felt good seeing her and spending time with her. If only it were easier to spot them immediately! He sms me at sunday `hope you had a nice weekend` Then he called me and said he misses me and is confused about everything. Whats wrong with me. Its like hes incapable of admitting wrongdoing. It hurts and its much easier and feels exteme happy if i should react. I was the love of her life. He will be back Jan, true narcs always come back. . What an incredible article. I think disordered women make far better/effective liars then men in general, so the pain can be even worse for a male victim. I need help to find the strength to not reach out to him. You may have to go thru it again to understand that you could never have a normal relationship with a Narcissist. What about over one or two years. Instead, refer them to a counselor, and keep it moving. Reasons and purpose will be given and the person in the relationship with the Narcissist will see the Narcissist through rose tinted goggles. I dont reflect his favorite version of himself back to him anymore, and I think he worries that he will have to face a more reality based version when he sees me now. And they are not happy in their new life. Getting rid of this guy is the only hope you have for a future. His phone would be carried into the shower and restroom at all times and turned off at night. But his state of mind is never stable. Painful none the less. I am going through a divorce right now because my husband met another girl at his job. In stark contrast to what Ive written above, unlike what I have read about other narcissists, he never discarded me (he would get angry and yell its over during an argument, but would always call to reconcile within minutes). My gf wants to go for dinner and he doesnt like it and doesnt want me to go. So, she had all the tools; looks, charm, compliments, flattery, pretty good intelligence overall, and seemed to have a caring heart. Since I feel like the walking dead and a non-functional parasite to society, any suggestions on what can I do? Im only sharing a part of what happened because I could write pages. NEXT, I am a small woman and live on my ownnobody. He still sees me as his best friend. Angela we're not done. I heard he is hurt (really?). We had so many plans holidays etc. But boy was she smokin hot! Of course, the narcissist refused to accept our reasons or acknowledge what happened. I no longer care if hes thinking of me or not as I am moving on and doing so quickly. My monkeybranch was so humiliating for my nex that he hasn't been out to the clubs for nearly 3 weeks since he saw me out with the guy. Thank you. ), my friends, and those, in and of themselves, are wonderful and I wouldnt trade them for anything but something is different and very unique with you. Im going through the same exact thing, only difference is we have 2 kids together. I dont even know if you desire to changebut I brought it up because often when people are in emotional turmoil, thats what drives them to try to make these kinds of major changes in their lives about how they are interacting with the world. Often my thoughts and actions at home and work do not make sense now; and some are illegal, unethical, and stupid. Sometimes I feel really light when I remember I am free from all the bullshit. I looked like I was dying, no sleep. He did some terrible things to me but I have a big heart and I also realize that he is sick, so I forgave him. My ex pulled the same crap. Its true, this kind of abuse does indeed cause very real physical symptoms. 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